60 Funny Bagel Puns
Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of bagel puns that will make your day excited, with the best bagel puns and bagel jokes so let the laughter begin!
Here are the top 60 Hilarious bagel puns to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about bagel humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.

Bagel Puns
- What do you call a bagel that works as a pilot? A plain bagel!
- Why was the bagel feeling lonely? It had nobody to schmear with!
- Why are bagels the most flexible breakfast? You can eat them on the run!
- What do you call a bagel that graduates medical school? Dr. Bagel!
- Why do bagels make good detectives? They know how to get to the crumb of every case!
- How does a bagel get in shape? By doing dough-ga!
- Why did the bagel win the Nobel Prize? It made outstanding contributions to grainity!
- What do you call a bagel from outer space? An unidentified frying orb!
- Why do bagels hate going to the beach? Because seagulls keep trying to poach them!
- What do you call a frozen bagel? An on ice bagel!
- What do you call a bagel that works as a DJ? DJ Cream Cheese!
- Why can’t bagels join the band? They can only hit one note – dough!
- What do you call a musical bagel? Bach!

Subscribe to Joke Knock!
Get updates on the latest posts and more from Here’s A Joke straight to your inbox.
Best Bagel Puns
- Why can’t bagels be left unsupervised? They get into all sorts of crumby situations!
- What did the bagel say to the slice of bread? Stop loafing around!
- What do you call a bagel who works as a cook? Chef Boy-bageldee!
- Why do bagels make great construction workers? They have experience in the hole drilling field!
- Why was the bagel disqualified from the race? It was leaven the competition behind!
- What happens when two bagels get married? The wedding is filled with loaf and happiness!
- Why was the everything bagel so popular? It had it all!
- What did the cream cheese say to the bagel? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
- Why don’t bagels believe in ghosts? It’s hard to find real proofing of their existence!
- Why do bagels love knock knock jokes? They’re always up for a round of raisin who’s at the door!
- Why did the bagel factory close down? It was going through a lot of dough and couldn’t turn a profit!
- What is a bagel’s favorite martial arts move? The cream cheese split!
- Why do bagels make great scientists? They love experimenting in the lab bakery!
- What is a bagel’s favorite song? “Don’t go Bacon my Heart”!
- Why did the bagel get in trouble at school? It was always talking smack in class!

Funny Bagel Puns
- Why did the bagel win the award? It rose above the rest!
- What kind of shoes do bagels wear? Loafers!
- How does a bagel get pumped up for a marathon? Carb loading!
- Why couldn’t the bagel pay attention in class? It was spacing out thinking about yummy schmear!
- Why are bagels so good at video games? They have the fastest thumb reflexes for button mashing!
- Why do bagels make great scientists? Because they love experimenting in the lab bakery!
- What do you call a music group made up of bagels? Hole and the Heartbreakers!
- Why do bagels have trouble making up their minds? They’re always flip floppy when asked to make decisions!
- What did the bagel say to the impatient customer? Don’t have a meltdown!
- Why do bagels make great priests? Because they already know how to preach the yeast!
- Why do bagels make bad delivery drivers? They only go around in circles and never reach their destination!
- Why was the everything bagel invited to all the parties? He was the life of the spread!
- What do you call a bagel from Poland? Pole-ish!
- Why was the bagel feeling down? It was really burnt out from working at the bakery!
- What did one bagel say to the other while waiting in the freezer? This is pretty ice-olating!
- Why did the bagel eat breath mints? To help with its onion breath!
- What kind of grades does a smart bagel get? Straight B’s!
- What do you call a bagel from Alaska? A snowbagel!
- Why did the bagel end up stranded on the side of the road? It took a wrong turn on Rye Street!
- Why was the poppyseed bagel feeling upbeat? It was on a sesame high!
- What did one bagel say to the other? Don’t worry, we’ll get out of this toaster oven soon!
- Why do bagels tell so many puns? They knead the laughs!
Bagel Pick Up Lines
- Are you a bagel? Because I find you very a-peeling!
- If you were a bagel, I’d never let you hit the floor.
- Hey girl, you make my heart like an everything bagel – you’ve got it all!
- On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a bagel – the most perfect number!
- Are you covered in sesame seeds? Because you look poppy…seed to me!
- You must be a toasted bagel straight out the oven because you are hot and I want to spread my cream cheese all over you!
- If you were a bagel I’d never put lox on you, only the finest salmon around!
- I must be a bagel cause I want you to spread your love all over me!
- You make my heart burn with desire…like an everything bagel fresh from the toaster!
- I’d brave any long brunch line just to split an everything bagel with you, cutie!
I hope these bagel puns bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the bagel humor!
Final Thoughts
We brought you hilarious bagel puns and humor, keep these puns in mind, and remember to smile because these can be your bagel laugh. Hope these jokes bring joy to your world!
If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes which you gonna love and laugh at: