65 Hilarious Pool Jokes

Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of pool jokes with pool puns and one-liners, so let the laughter begin!

Here are the top 65 Hilarious pool jokes to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about pool humor which you are going to love with a laugh.

Pool Jokes

1. I wanted to go swimming but the pool was closed. Talk about water under the bridge!
2. I do my best swimming in the kiddie pool. The water wings help me float.
3. I’m so out of shape, I can’t even swim the length of my bathtub without needing a pool noodle to stay afloat!
4. I was going to go to the pool today but decided to just stand in the shower with my bathing suit on instead.
5. I’m less of a swimmer and more of a sinker. My bathing suit should come with an anchor.
6. Swimming pools and I don’t mix well. Let’s just say the lifeguards know me by name.
7. Went swimming but forgot my bathing suit. Let’s just say my birthday suit attracted some stares!
8. Tried to do a cannonball but it ended up more like a pebble drop.
9. I swim with such elegance and grace, it’s like watching a wombat try to cross a river.
10. I only go in pools that have lifeguards, and they have to agree to never leave my side.
11. Swimming builds character…and by character I mean panic, lots and lots of panic.
12. I’m such a good swimmer my coach makes me swim with only one arm and leg tied behind my back just to give the others a chance.
13. I swim like a rock. A rock that’s hurtling to the bottom of the pool. Help!

Best Pool Jokes

14. I wanted to be a lifeguard but they didn’t think “screaming for help” qualified as a useful skill.
15. Went for a dip but got my bathing suit stuck in the pool filter. Talk about embarrassing!
16. Tried to do laps but could barely make it halfway before needing a pool noodle pit stop.
17. They say swimming makes you more hydrodynamic. I say it makes me more hydrophobic.
18. Do you smell chlorine? Oh right, that’s just my hair after swimming all day.
19. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here, pretending to drown so the cute lifeguard gives me CPR.
20. I’m less of a diver and more of a flounderer. My form needs some work.
21. I wanted to be on the swim team but they said the doggy paddle isn’t an acceptable stroke.
22. Swimming is my favorite sport to almost drown in.
23. Went for a swim but got a Charlie horse and just started sinking. Good thing the lifeguard was paying attention!
24. Tried to do a flip turn but belly flopped so hard I cleared the pool. Oops!
25. They say there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but this pool seems kinda empty to me.
26. I’m such a good swimmer, Michael Phelps even asks me for tips.
27. Tried to impress people at the pool with my diving skills but learned that pool is 6 feet deep…the hard way.
28. You know it was a good pool day when your fingers get super pruney.
29. I wanted to be a synchronized swimmer but could never get my leg kicks to match the beat.
30. I swim with such effortless grace and poise that people often mistake me for a drunk octopus.

Pool Puns

31. Don’t mind me, I’m just bobbing around the pool on my flotation device throne.
32. I was swimming laps but got stuck behind the slowest elderly lady ever. I’m convinced she was part sea turtle.
33. I’d try out for water polo but I can barely swim let alone throw and catch a ball!
34. Nothing says summer like the smell of suntan lotion, chlorine, and wet bathing suits!
35. I wanted to swim but the lifeguard insisted I wear a float suit. Talk about embarrassing!
36. Went for a dip but my bathing suit top came undone. I ain’t afraid of showing a little extra skin!
37. Tried swimming in the ocean but got smacked by a huge wave. I’ll stick to nice, safe chlorinated pools from now on!
38. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be clinging onto this pool noodle for dear life. Swimming is hard!
39. I swim with all the grace of a washing machine on the heavy duty cycle. Lots of thrashing but not going anywhere!
40. I swim laps until I can’t feel my arms, then I go eat half my body weight in poolside nachos!

Pool Jokes One Liner

41. The pool party was swimmingly fun, though some people did end up pretty pickled!
42. I wanted to soak in the pool all day, but eventually I got pruney and had to bow out.
43. I tried to do laps in the pool, but I’m no Michael Phelps. I flounder around like a fish out of water!
44. Don’t dive in the shallow end or you might end up belly flop-side up!
45. I tried to be a lifeguard but they said my skills were sub-par.
46. I wanted to swim but the only strokes I can do are back and heart.
47. I got in trouble for peeing in the pool. Talk about making a splash!
48. They kicked me out of swim practice for splashing too much. What can I say, I make waves!
49. I tried out for the dive team but apparently a cannonball isn’t a legit diving technique.
50. I wanted to be a synchronized swimmer but could never get my leg kicks to sync up with the beat.
51. I slipped on the diving board and ended up doing a belly smacker. Not my most graceful moment.
52. I tried swimming laps but just ended up doggy paddling and clinging to the lane lines for dear life.
53. Don’t play Marco Polo with me, I’m the most cheating Polo you’ll ever meet!
54. Tried to be cool by diving off the high dive but lost my swim trunks mid-air! Talk about exposing myself.
55. I swim with the grace of a dolphin…on land. All splashing and flailing about.
56. Of course I peed in the pool. I’m not an animal, I at least wait until I’m submerged!
57. Don’t worry, my pool floaties means I’m always prepared to party.
58. I got swimmer’s ear from my goggles. Talk about a pain in the ear-ass!
59. Tried to do flip turns but just ended up swallowing gallons of chlorinated water instead.
60. I’m less of a diver and more of a flounderer. My form needs some work!

I hope these one-liners bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the pool humor!

Peeing In The Pool Jokes

61. I wanted to pee in the pool but the lifeguard kept a close eye on me. I had to hold it in so long, my swimsuit almost burst at the seams!
62. Don’t drink too much before swimming, or your pool time will turn into pee time pretty quickly!
63. I tell the kids not to pee in the pool, but sometimes when I’m swimming I just can’t hold it! Oops!
64. I accidentally peed in the pool once. Let’s just say I made a new friend – the pool filter!
65. Little Johnny was scolded for peeing in the pool. He said “But I did it underwater! Doesn’t that make it invisi-pee?”

Final Thoughts

We brought you hilarious pool jokes and humor, keep these jokes in mind, and remember to smile because these can be your dose for summer splash! and can be a source of laughter too! Hope these jokes bring joy to your world and keep the summer vibes flowing!

If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes which you gonna love and laugh at:

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