37 Funny Traffic Jokes

Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of traffic jokes that will make your day laugh! with the funny traffic jokes and stuck in traffic jokes, so let the laughter begin!

Here are the top 37 Funny traffic jokes to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about traffic humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.

Traffic Jokes

1. I’m so bad at merging, people keep trying to park on me.
2. Rush hour traffic is great for brushing up on lip reading skills.
3. I named my GPS “Naggy” since that’s all it does in traffic.
4. Why do traffic lights turn red? You would too if you had to change in front of everyone!
5. I consider traffic jams just another chance to Slav Squat and get fit.
6. Why do ambulances even bother with sirens in traffic? Not like cars can move!
7. Traffic report: Cars are slowed for no reason again. We’ll have another report in 5 minutes.
8. Sitting in traffic is like yoga, it’s all about inner peace and breathing deeply.
9. Why do traffic reporters still try to help us? Nothing will save us now, Susan.
10. Why do traffic lights turn red? You would too if you had to change colors in front of everyone!
11. I saw two cars playing chess during a traffic jam today. Your move, gridlock.
12. Why is traffic like pizza? No matter which way you slice it, it’s never quick.
13. Why do they allow turn signals during traffic jams? Doesn’t give me any false hope.
14. Traffic slowed to a crawl again. Why do today what you can’t put off until tomorrow?

Funny Traffic Jokes

15. What do you call someone speeding in traffic? An optimist.
16. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Asking for my idling car.
17. Why do traffic reporters sound cheerful despite the jams? They’re contractually obligated not to cry.
18. Sitting in traffic helps me empathize with zoo animals pacing in their cage.
19. Traffic is like my relatives – it shows up unannounced and extendedly overstays its welcome.
20. Why do today what you can’t put off until tomorrow stuck in traffic?
21. Why do ambulances even bother with sirens in traffic? Not like cars can move!
22. Traffic is like a parade where they make you march and won’t let you leave.
23. Why do traffic reporters still try to help us? Nothing will save us now, Susan.
24. I saw two cars playing chess during a traffic jam today. Your move, gridlock.
25. Rush hour traffic is great for brushing up on lip reading skills.
26. I consider traffic jams just another chance to Slav Squat and get fit.

Stuck In Traffic Jokes

27. Traffic is like cooking; one wrong move and it’s burnt to a crisp.
28. If traffic continues, legally change my name to “Guess I Live Here Now Lane”.
29. Traffic jams: when your car suddenly remembers it’s claustrophobic.
30. Why do traffic jams love stand-up comedy? Because they’re always ‘on the road’!
31. Traffic jams are like unscheduled coffee breaks for cars.
32. I tried to befriend a traffic jam once, but it just drove me crazy.
33. Why did the bicycle fall over in traffic? It was tired of waiting!
34. In a traffic jam, even the turtles on the road start feeling like speedsters.
35. I used to hate traffic jams, but now I think of them as my car’s way of catching its breath.
36. Traffic jams are the real roadblock to world peace!
37. I got stuck in traffic today. On the bright side, I’m now a professional car singer!

I hope these traffic jokes bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the traffic humor!

Final Thoughts

I hope these additional funny traffic jokes brought a smile to your face! Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!

If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes that you gonna love and laugh at:

• Bro Jokes
• Hand Puns
• Camel Jokes