70 Funniest Lawyer Puns to Brighten Your Legal Day
Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of lawyer puns that will make you legal laughter with lawyer jokes and lawyer one-liners, so let the laughter begin!
Here are the top 70 funny lawyer puns to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about lawyer humor which you are going to love with a laugh.
Funny Lawyer Puns
- Legal eagles never wing their cases.
- Lawyer’s favorite typeface? Jurisdictional Gothic.
- Suing someone is a brief process.
- Attorney’s favorite math class? Alge-bra course.
- Court reporters make a good case.
- Lawyer’s vacation spot? The Tort-ropics.
- Legal battles are never civil affairs.
- Why lawyers study in libraries? They’re judgment-free zones.
- Never date an attorney – Objection sustained!
- Judges never gamble; they hold court.
- Attorney’s social network? The legal brief.
- A lawyer’s favorite coffee? Latte-gal advice.
- Courtrooms: where life sentences are punctuation.
- Attorney’s workout? Legal legalese lunges.
- Never argue with a lawyer – they win-dictate!
- Legal seafood? The case of the missing cod.
- Lawyers love law puns – they’re sentence-al!
- Why lawyers never get lost? They follow statutes.
- Attorney’s wardrobe? Lawsuit and tie.
- Jury duty: where life serves justice.
- Judge’s favorite fruit? The sub-peach-na.
- Lawyers’ favorite comedy? Legal briefs!
- Attorneys never lose, just draw objections.
- Legal issues are lawsuit matters.
- Court’s favorite season? Sue-mer.
- Legal advice: always take it with a grain of justice.
- Lawyer’s secret talent? The objectionable juggle.
- Why did the lawyer become an artist? He mastered the fine prints.
- Court reporters spill the legal beans.
- Lawyers never play hide and sue-k!
- Attorney’s favorite band? The Scales of Justice.
- Court humor: always appeal-ing!
- Lawyers: masters of the bar exam.
- Legal debates: where arguments legislate.
- Attorney’s GPS? The legal compass.
- Judges enjoy a fair trial.
- Lawyers always pass the bar.
- Attorney’s favorite superhero? Captain Litigation!
- Why do lawyers never lie? It’s a perjury-sensitive matter.
- Legal romance: love at first cite.
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Funny Lawyer Jokes
- Lawyers are great actors – so fake and dramatic!
- My lawyer charges $400 an hour – it was initially $800, but I talked him down!
- Lawyer told me it would cost $1,500 for a quickie – so I slashed his fee in half!
- Lawyers and painters have one thing in common – they’re both con artists!
- The lawyer says to win this tricky case, I must now appeal to hisHIGHer senses!
- Did you hear about the honest lawyer? Neither did I!
- Why does the law society frown upon lawyers jokes? They just want to monopolize them!
- What do you have if 100 lawyers died by spontaneously exploding? A good start!
- The lawyer says to win this case, I must now appeal to his HYPERBOLE senses!
- Why does the law society forbid lawyer jokes? Self regulation against monopoly is key!
- What do you call a lawyer with no brains? Justice of the peace!
- Why do lawyers wear neckties? To hide the foreskin creeping up from under their chins!
- Why does the law society despise lawyer jokes so much? They just want to monopolize them!
- Why are lawyer jokes getting funnier and funnier? God is writing the punch lines now!
- How can you tell when a lawyer is lying to you? Their lips are moving!
- Why did God invent economists and lawyers? In order to make weathermen look good!
- Why did God invent lawyers? Because politicians weren’t slimy enough!
Lawyer Jokes One Liner
- What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement? Not enough cement!
- Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!
- What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator!
- Why did God invent lawyers? So that used car salesmen could have heroes too!
- What do you call 25 dead lawyers skydiving? Skeet shooting!
- What do you call a lawyer with half a brain? Your Honor!
- What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet shooting!
- Why did God invent lawyers? Because politicians weren’t slimy enough already!
- Why are lawyer jokes getting funnier and funnier? God is writing the punch lines!
- Why did God invent lawyers? So used car salesmen could have heroes too!
- Why did God invent economists and lawyers? In order to make weathermen look good!
- Why are hemorrhoids called lawyers? Because they’re pains in the ass that make everything bloody!
- Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? To practice!
I hope these lawyer jokes one liners bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the lawyer humor!
Final Thoughts
We brought you hilarious lawyer jokes and humor, keep these jokes in mind, and remember to smile because these can be your legal jokes! and can be a source of laughter too! Hope these jokes bring joy to your world!
If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes which you gonna love and laugh at:
