70 Barber Jokes to Shear Joy and Chuckles!

Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of barber jokes that will make you drip-drop laugh! with the barber shop jokes and funny barber puns, so let the laughter begin!

Here are the top 70 funny barber jokes to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about barber humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.

Barber Shop Jokes

1. Why was the barber late to open his shop this morning? He overswept!
2. What did the impatient customer say to the barber? “Cut the small talk and cut my hair!”
3. Why do barbers make the best listeners? Because they’re trained in hairing people out!
4. How did the new barber lose all his customers? His prices weren’t very razor-nable.
5. Why did the customer run out of the barber shop? He didn’t want a brush cut!
6. Why can’t you trust a barber with a big ego?
   They’re always going on about how they’re the best cut above the rest!
7. How do you make a barber laugh on Monday? Tell him a haircut joke!
8. How did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
9. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a barber shop? Because there are too many ears around!
10. What’s the best way to keep barbers in shape? Give them a trim every now and then!
11. Why was the barber impatient with his new trainee? He wanted the kid to think on his shears!
12. Did you hear about the barber who tried sculpting hair? His clients said he had no style!
13. Why did the customer get upset halfway through his haircut?
    The barber kept cutting it too short with him!
14. How does a barber cut a bald man’s hair? Very carefully!
15. Why do barbers make lousy lovers? Because they cut and run!

Barber Jokes

16. Why did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
17. What did the bald man say when he got a haircut? I didn’t ask for this haircut!
18. Why do barbers make great detectives? Because they have good hair-cutting skills.
19. Why was the barber angry? His customer kept dodging the bill.
20. Why do barbers prefer cutting hair with scissors instead of clippers?
    It gives them more of a razor’s edge.
21. Did you hear about the new barber shop that opened? It comes highly razor-mended.
22. Why do men get short haircuts after a breakup? Because they need to cut their ex out of their hair.
23. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
24. What did the bald man exclaim when he got his first haircut in years? I’m getting split ends!
25. Why was the regular customer bald on just one side of his head?
    Because his barber wanted to cut his hair, but didn’t want to cut him off!
26. Why do barbers leave the shop early on Wednesdays?
    They need time to get a head on the weekend rush!
27. How did the barber win the race? He took a short cut.
28. I asked the barber for a new style – he told me to go get a hair hat.
29. Why don’t eggs go to the barber shop? Because they don’t need a new ‘do!

Funny Barber Jokes

30. Did you hear about the new barber shop called the Clip Joint? All the customers get a raw deal.
31. Why don’t professional boxers make good barbers? Because they only know the uppercut!
32. Why was the barber late for work this morning? He over shlept!
33. What’s the difference between a barber and a stylist? About $30!
34. How do baseball players get their hair cut? In the short stops!
35. Why did the customer get upset halfway through his haircut?
    The barber was cutting it too short with him!
36. What did the stylist say to the impatient client? Don’t cut in line!
37. Why was the stylists hair so shiny? She used the best mousse!
38. Why do politicians prefer old barbers? Because old barbers never tell them they’re wrong!
39. Why did the soccer player look so messy after his haircut? The barber kept dribbling!
40. Why do barbers make great detectives? They have good hair cutting skills!
41. Why was the barber able to retire early? He made a lot of good shaves on the stock market!
42. What did the bald man exclaim when he walked out of the barber shop? Thanks for the haircut!
43. Why was the stylist late for her appointment? She had overdozed!
44. Why was the barber able to buy a boat? His business was cut out for it!
45. Why was the angry customer offended? The barber cut him off mid-sentence!
46. Why was the barber able to buy a vacation home? He knew how to cut it close with savings.
47. Why are barbers terrible at basketball? All they know is the fadeaway!
48. Why did the barber close up early on Saturday? He wanted a shorter work week.
49. What do you call a barber that works past closing time? A barber after hours!
50. What did the stylist say to the impatient client? “Don’t cut in line!”

Funny Barber Puns

51. I asked my barber for a mohawk but he didn’t have the skills to cut it. What a missed hawk-ortunity!
52. My barber told me bangs weren’t his specialty. I guess he just couldn’t cut it.
53. I told my barber I was fed up with my boring hair. He said, “Sounds like you’re ready for a cut and change!”
54. I wanted a stylish faux hawk, but my barber totally clipped it.
55. My barber charges $10 for hair coloring. I dyed a little inside when I heard that.
56. My barber accidentally dyed my hair green. Now I look like I belong in Shrek’s swamp!
57. I asked for a short pixie cut, but my barber thought I said “taxi cut” and I ended up looking like a cab driver!
58. My barber said my hairstyle was a little rough around the edges. I told him, “Cut me some slacks!”
59. I wanted blonde highlights from my barber, but instead I got blonde lowlights. Dye-saster!
60. My barber recommended a perm to give me volume. But it was a frizzy mess – he really miscurled that one!
61. I asked for bangs like Zooey Deschanel. My barber gave me floppy bangs like a sheepdog instead. Baaad hair day!
62. My barber cut my hair so short, people started mistaking me for my friend Jim. I guess you could say I got a gym cut.
63. I asked for a stylish layered bob, but my barber chopped it too short – now it’s a slob!
64. I wanted a trendy asymmetrical cut, but my barber was scissorly challenged.
65. My barber cut my hair into a mullet. I’m really not down with this throwback style.
66. I asked my barber to trim my split ends, but he cut off way too much hair. That’s the last time I ever cut corners!
67. My barber gave me blunt bangs when I asked for tapered ones. I feel so snippy about it!
68. I asked my barber for an edgy undercut, but he misunderstood and gave me an underwater cut. Now I look like a drowned rat!
69. My barber cut my hair into a shaggy bob when I asked for a lob. Now I look like I got electrocuted!
70. I asked my barber for a fade, but he thought I said ‘fro and permed my whole head. A total miscommunication fade!

I hope these barber jokes bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the Cinnamon humor!

Final Thoughts

I hope these additional funny barber shop jokes brought a smile to your face! Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!

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