Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of barber jokes that will make you drip-drop laugh! with the barber shop jokes and funny barber puns, so let the laughter begin!
Here are the top 70 funny barber jokes to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about barber humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.
Barber Shop Jokes
- Why was the barber late to open his shop this morning? He overswept!
- What did the impatient customer say to the barber? “Cut the small talk and cut my hair!”
- Why do barbers make the best listeners? Because they’re trained in hairing people out!
- How did the new barber lose all his customers? His prices weren’t very razor-nable.
- Why did the customer run out of the barber shop? He didn’t want a brush cut!
- Why can’t you trust a barber with a big ego?
They’re always going on about how they’re the best cut above the rest!
- How do you make a barber laugh on Monday? Tell him a haircut joke!
- How did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a barber shop? Because there are too many ears around!
- What’s the best way to keep barbers in shape? Give them a trim every now and then!
- Why was the barber impatient with his new trainee? He wanted the kid to think on his shears!
- Did you hear about the barber who tried sculpting hair? His clients said he had no style!
- Why did the customer get upset halfway through his haircut?
The barber kept cutting it too short with him!
- How does a barber cut a bald man’s hair? Very carefully!
- Why do barbers make lousy lovers? Because they cut and run!
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- Why did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
- What did the bald man say when he got a haircut? I didn’t ask for this haircut!
- Why do barbers make great detectives? Because they have good hair-cutting skills.
- Why was the barber angry? His customer kept dodging the bill.
- Why do barbers prefer cutting hair with scissors instead of clippers?
It gives them more of a razor’s edge.
- Did you hear about the new barber shop that opened? It comes highly razor-mended.
- Why do men get short haircuts after a breakup? Because they need to cut their ex out of their hair.
- How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- What did the bald man exclaim when he got his first haircut in years? I’m getting split ends!
- Why was the regular customer bald on just one side of his head?
Because his barber wanted to cut his hair, but didn’t want to cut him off!
- Why do barbers leave the shop early on Wednesdays?
They need time to get a head on the weekend rush!
- How did the barber win the race? He took a short cut.
- I asked the barber for a new style – he told me to go get a hair hat.
- Why don’t eggs go to the barber shop? Because they don’t need a new ‘do!
Funny Barber Jokes
- Did you hear about the new barber shop called the Clip Joint? All the customers get a raw deal.
- Why don’t professional boxers make good barbers? Because they only know the uppercut!
- Why was the barber late for work this morning? He over shlept!
- What’s the difference between a barber and a stylist? About $30!
- How do baseball players get their hair cut? In the short stops!
- Why did the customer get upset halfway through his haircut?
The barber was cutting it too short with him!
- What did the stylist say to the impatient client? Don’t cut in line!
- Why was the stylists hair so shiny? She used the best mousse!
- Why do politicians prefer old barbers? Because old barbers never tell them they’re wrong!
- Why did the soccer player look so messy after his haircut? The barber kept dribbling!
- Why do barbers make great detectives? They have good hair cutting skills!
- Why was the barber able to retire early? He made a lot of good shaves on the stock market!
- What did the bald man exclaim when he walked out of the barber shop? Thanks for the haircut!
- Why was the stylist late for her appointment? She had overdozed!
- Why was the barber able to buy a boat? His business was cut out for it!
- Why was the angry customer offended? The barber cut him off mid-sentence!
- Why was the barber able to buy a vacation home? He knew how to cut it close with savings.
- Why are barbers terrible at basketball? All they know is the fadeaway!
- Why did the barber close up early on Saturday? He wanted a shorter work week.
- What do you call a barber that works past closing time? A barber after hours!
- What did the stylist say to the impatient client? “Don’t cut in line!”
Funny Barber Puns
- I asked my barber for a mohawk but he didn’t have the skills to cut it. What a missed hawk-ortunity!
- My barber told me bangs weren’t his specialty. I guess he just couldn’t cut it.
- I told my barber I was fed up with my boring hair. He said, “Sounds like you’re ready for a cut and change!”
- I wanted a stylish faux hawk, but my barber totally clipped it.
- My barber charges $10 for hair coloring. I dyed a little inside when I heard that.
- My barber accidentally dyed my hair green. Now I look like I belong in Shrek’s swamp!
- I asked for a short pixie cut, but my barber thought I said “taxi cut” and I ended up looking like a cab driver!
- My barber said my hairstyle was a little rough around the edges. I told him, “Cut me some slacks!”
- I wanted blonde highlights from my barber, but instead I got blonde lowlights. Dye-saster!
- My barber recommended a perm to give me volume. But it was a frizzy mess – he really miscurled that one!
- I asked for bangs like Zooey Deschanel. My barber gave me floppy bangs like a sheepdog instead. Baaad hair day!
- My barber cut my hair so short, people started mistaking me for my friend Jim. I guess you could say I got a gym cut.
- I asked for a stylish layered bob, but my barber chopped it too short – now it’s a slob!
- I wanted a trendy asymmetrical cut, but my barber was scissorly challenged.
- My barber cut my hair into a mullet. I’m really not down with this throwback style.
- I asked my barber to trim my split ends, but he cut off way too much hair. That’s the last time I ever cut corners!
- My barber gave me blunt bangs when I asked for tapered ones. I feel so snippy about it!
- I asked my barber for an edgy undercut, but he misunderstood and gave me an underwater cut. Now I look like a drowned rat!
- My barber cut my hair into a shaggy bob when I asked for a lob. Now I look like I got electrocuted!
- I asked my barber for a fade, but he thought I said ‘fro and permed my whole head. A total miscommunication fade!
I hope these barber jokes bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the Cinnamon humor!
I hope these additional funny barber shop jokes brought a smile to your face! Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!
If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes that you gonna love and laugh at: