85 Funny Pea Puns
Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of Pea puns that will make you giggle with some Pea jokes and Pea one-liners! so let the laughter begin!
Here are the top 85 funny Pea puns to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about Pea humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.

Pea Puns
- Why did the pea leave the pod? He wanted some space!
- Why are peas so calm? Because they have pea-ceful lives.
- Why was the pea kicked out of the kitchen? He was being too podgy!
- Why was the pea afraid of getting lost? He didn’t want to be sheetless!
- What do you call a pea with low self-esteem? A nobody!
- What do you call two peas in a pod who are being quiet? Mute and pod!
- What do you call small peas? Petites!
- Why do peas make good counselors? They’re great listeners and provide pod-tive advice!
- Why are peas so short? Because they eat their vege-tables!
- What do you call peas that have run in a race? Pooped!
- Where do peas stop to drink? The pod pub!
- Why do pea pods have zippers? So the peas can split easily!
- Why don’t peas share? They’re always peas-imistic!
- What do you call a pea who works out a lot? Popeye!
- Why are peas so bad at football? They always split-pea!
- How do peas get around? They pod-dle everywhere!
- Why was the pea crying? Because he was over-pea-sled!
- What did the pea say to the other pea on Valentine’s Day? “Will you pea mine?”
- What do you call a pea that just got engaged? Happi-peas!
- Why don’t peas like the rain? It makes them feel dampened!

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Funny Pea Jokes
- Why was the pea famous? He was a pop star!
- What’s a pea’s favorite game? Hide and pea-k.
- What do you call a pea in a Santa hat? Jolly Pea-ly!
- What was the most stylish pea wearing? Po-Dior!
- How does a pea travel in the snow? By pea-dogsled!
- Why are peas so good at video games? Their pod-eyed coordination!
- Why did one pea envy the other? He was jello of his good looks!
- Why did the pea hate staying indoors? He liked to be out of pod!
- What does a pea do when he feels lonely? He calls all his peapods!
- What do you call a pea who broke out of jail? A run-a-pea!
- Why don’t mashed peas make good sandwiches? You can’t spread them!
- Why was the pea so out of breath? He just finished the pod race!
- What did one pea say to the other in the elevator? “I think we’re going to split!”
- What kind of books do peas like best? Pod-cast-inated novels!
- How did the pea become a DJ? He learned how to spin beats!
- What did the judge say to the naughty pea? “Looks like you’re in a pod pickle!”
- What kind of makeup do peas wear? Pod-owder and lip-pea gloss!
- Why was the pea so klepto? It couldn’t stop peas-ing things!
- Why don’t peas do standup comedy? They get stage fright easily!
- How do peas vote in private? In pea-voting booths!
- What’s a pea’s favorite band? The Beetles!
- Why do peas have trouble finding matching socks? Too many un-pod pairs!
- What did the pea say on Halloween night? Happy Pea-lloween!
- Why did the pea have to leave the concert early? The music was getting too pod!
- Why did the pea get fired from his job? For spillin’ the beans!
- What did the one pea say when he bumped into another? “Pod-on me!”
- Why did the pea volunteer at the soup kitchen? To help with pea soup distribution!
- What did one pea say to the other in the dead of winter? Stay snug as a bug in a rug!”
- How did the pea become an astronaut? It aimed high and pod for the stars!
- Why did the peas show up early to everything? They liked to beat the crowd!
- Why did the pea go to night school? To broaden its pea-rizons!
- What do you call a pea that never sprouts? Asleep!
- The pea told a joke to the carrot; they had a real “vegetable” laugh.
- How did the pea get ahead at work? It made pod-gress on all its projects!
Pea One Liners
- I’m one pea short of a pod.
- I’m feeling a little pea-vish today.
- Quit pea-stering me with questions!
- My mattress is lumpy like it’s full of peas.
- This pea soup tastes like it’s from a can.
- I’m so hungry I could eat a whole bowl of peas.
- These peas are so tiny and cute – petites for my plate!
- Ugh, I split my pants again – how embarrassing!
- I’m gonna soak these peas first so they get nice and fat.
- Fresh peas right off the vine are simply sweet and divine.
- Add some peas to your porridge for a pop of color and nutrition.
- Pea-eww, who left these dirty socks lying around?
- Come on baby, pea with me!
- I’m one pea short of a casserole around here.
- You wanna pea-ce of me?!
- Defrosting peas reminds me spring’s almost here!
- Oh snap! My pea pod popped open.
- Pea-can pie is a delicious southern treat.
- These peas are mighty sweet; you’ll be pod-pea to stop eating them.
- She’s always peas-imistic about everything.
- Add some fresh peas to make this dish pop.
- I’m no pea brain – ask me a hard question!
- Uh oh, looks like rain – time to split peas!
- You seem pea-turbed – tell me what’s bothering you.
- Fresh pea soup is the perfect springtime treat.
- Can you please pass the peas and carrots?
- Yuck, this pea soup is bitter. It’s un-pea-lievable!
- Come on baby, peas with me!
- This mattress is lumpier than pea soup.
- I’m no pea brain – ask me a hard one!
- The pea was a great comedian; it had everyone in splits.
I hope these Pea one liners bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the Pea humor!
Final Thoughts
I hope these additional funny Pea puns brought a smile to your face! Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!
If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes that you gonna love and laugh at: