100 Hilarious Canadian Jokes

Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of Canadian jokes with Canadian puns and one-liners, I am sure they are going to make you laugh. So let the laughter begin!

Here are the top 100 Hilarious Canadian jokes to make you slither with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about Canadian humor which you are going to love with a laugh. These Canadian jokes are both for kids and adults.

Canadian Jokes

1. Why did the Canadians cross the road? To get to the free healthcare on the other side!
2. How do Canadians change a lightbulb? They just wait for the spring thaw.
3. Why don’t Canadians ever get a fever? Free healthcare may be slow but it works!
4. What do you call a vegetarian Canadian? A maple leaf-eater!
5. Why do Canadians like having the Queen on their money? Because they hate changing their bills!
6. What do you call a Canadian on a snowboard? A sledhead!
7. Why did the Canadian bring two jackets on his date? He heard the forecast called for a mild chill!
8. What do you call a Canadian phone plan? Robbery!
9. Why does Canada have so many tree farms? Because if they run out of trees they have no backup plan!
10. Why did the Canadian bring gloves to Miami? He heard it gets chilly at night.
11. How do you know a Canadian is at your front door? The doorbell keeps apologizing for ringing!
12. What did the Canadian say to the other Canadian while waiting in line? “Sorry for being in your way, eh?”
13. Why did the Canadian bring an extra t-shirt on vacation? In case it got a bit nippy at night!
14. What do you call a cooking spatula in Canada? An ice hockey stick.
15. Why do Canadians open their windows in winter? They want a cool breeze.

Funny Canadian Jokes

16. What do you call a fun Canadian? An oxymoron.
17. How does every Canadian book start? Once apawn a time…
18. Why did the Canadian bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
19. Why did the Canadian bring an extra sweater to the desert? You never know if a cold front might come through.
20. What do you call a mosquito in Canada? A figment of your imagination because it’s too cold for mosquitos!
21. Why did the Canadian couple take two cars to their date? In case one breaks down in the cold.
22. Why don’t Canadians laugh at short jokes? There’s nothing funny about being concise.
23. Why did the Canadian bring a mask and snorkel on vacation? In case the hotel had a pool.
24. What do you call a pretty girl in Canada? A tourist.
25. Why did the Canadian wear his coat to the restaurant? The air conditioning was on too high.
26. Why did the Canadian wear glasses? He forgot his contacts at home.
27. Why did the Canadian bring his own silverware to the diner? He didn’t trust how clean the spoons were.
28. How do you know when a Canadian is frustrated? When he says “I’m slightly irritated.”
29. What did the polite Canadian say to the rude Canadian? “Pardon me for saying so, but you’re quite impolite, eh?”
30. Why can’t Canadians be spontaneous? It’s against their nature.
31. What do Canadians say before they die? “I’m so sorry for expiring, eh.”
32. How do Canadians empty the dishwasher? They set it to air dry.
33. What do you call a wheelbarrow race in Canada? The most exciting event of the year!
34. What do you call a slightly fun Canadian? Mildly amused.
35. Why did the Canadian wear a scarf in the summer? You can never be too careful!
36. How do you say “dog” in Canadian? Pupper, eh?
37. What’s the Canadian version of a thunderstorm? Light precipitation with a chance of mild thunder in the distance.
38. What do you call a Canadian bee? A hoserfly!
39. How do Canadians spend their weekends? Apologizing for partying too hard the night before.
40. Why don’t Canadians make prank phone calls? It’s too impolite.
41. Why can’t Canadian kids play trumpets? It’s far too loud.
42. What do Canadians say when you sneeze? “That’s alright.”
43. How do Canadians get on horseback? They say “excuse me, kindly accept my weight upon your back.”
44. Why don’t Canadians water ski? It disturbs the lake.
45. What did the embarrassed Canadian say? “So sorry!”

Canadian One-liners

46. Why don’t Canadians celebrate Halloween? Masks are too scary.
47. Why was the Canadian excited about a long weekend? Three whole days to relax!
48. How does a Canadian cook bacon and eggs? He apologizes to the pig and chickens first.
49. What do you call a slightly offended Canadian? Bothered.
50. Why do Canadians keep a subzero sleeping bag? In case their heater quits.
51. How many Canadians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Twelve – one to twist the bulb while eleven apologize for the darkness.
52. What did the Canadian say to his date who showed up late? “No worries!”
53. What do you call a Canadian stand-up comedian? Mike Ehrmantraut.
54. Why don’t Canadians ever time travel? They’d hate to arrive early.
55. What do you call a Canadian in a hurry? An exception.
56. What do you call an adrenaline junky in Canada? An accountant.
57. Why don’t Canadians go camping? It’s far too intense.
58. What did the excited Canadian say? “This is the best day of the year so far!”
59. How can you identify a Canadian organizaton? It has six managers and one employee.
60. Why did the Canadian put an extra blanket on the hotel bed? It only had four layers.
61. How does a Canadian change a lightbulb? He just apologizes for the darkness and waits.
62. Why did the Canadian wear a tuxedo to a job interview? He was excited for the occasion!
63. What does a Canadian say when you step on his foot? “No problem, I’m sorry my foot was in your way.”
64. How do Canucks fish in winter? They carve a small hole in the ice with a toothpick and patiently wait for spring.
65. What do Canadian forensic shows look like? The Mountie Always Polite-ly Asks Who Done It.
66. Why do Canadians eat their pizza with a fork and knife? They don’t like greasy fingers.
67. Why did the Canadian couple miss their train? It arrived on schedule.
68. Why did the Canadian bring a parka to Florida? You never know with that polar vortex.
69. What’s the Canadian version of chewing tobacco? Maple syrup flavored gum.
70. How do you play rock paper scissors in Canada? You both throw paper and apologize.
71. What do you call a slightly annoyed Canadian? Somewhat troubled.
72. Why are Canadian sitcoms so polite? The characters always let out reserved chuckles.
73. What do you call a crosseyed Canadian? Not quite right, so sorry.
74. Why do Canadians wear shorts in winter? If your legs get cold you can always put on pants.
75. How did the Canadian find his lost dog? By saying sorry until the dog apologized back.
76. What do you call an emotional Canadian? Only slightly choked up.
77. Why does Santa Claus let Canadian kids stay up to see him? They calmly wait in bed without making a fuss.

Canadian Puns

78. Why did the Canadian bring an umbrella to the desert? In case a freak rain storm came through.
79. Why did the Canadian wear his winter coat to get the mail? It was fairly chilly out.
80. How do you play hide and seek with a Canadian? Seek, because they’re too polite to hide.
81. What do you call a comedian in Canada? Unemployed.
82. Why did the Canadian wear earmuffs? The mild breeze was giving him an ear ache.
83. How do you know a Canadian’s having fun? He says “I’m having an adequate time.”
84. Why did the Canadian bring a sweater and a parka to the movie? In case the theater got chilly.
85. What did the Canadian say to his date who had food on her face? “You seem to have a bit of something, but don’t worry it’s not very noticeable.”
86. Why don’t Canadians BBQ? It’s a bit too fancy.
87. What did the Canadian say to his friend who said a rude joke? “I beg your pardon?”
88. How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb? Ten – one to screw it in and nine to apologize for the darkness.
89. Why did the Canadian wear his parka to bed? The bedroom was a balmy 68 degrees.
90. What do you call thanksgiving dinner in Canada? Apologizing to the turkey before eating it.
91. Why did the Canadian bring his own food to the dinner party? He didn’t want to be an inconvenience.
92. How does a Canadian watch horror movies? Through a small opening between his fingers after he covers his eyes.
93. What does a Canadian say if you step on his foot? “No worries, I should have been more aware of where I left my foot.”
94. How do you get a Canadian to curse? Step on their hockey stick.
95. What do Canadians say instead of “cheese” when taking a photo? “Maple syrup!”
96. Why do Canadians prefer being the goalie in hockey? They don’t want to seem too offensive.
97. Why did the Canadian wear his parka to the beach? The high was only 90 degrees.
98. How does a Canadian find his dog? He just keeps saying “so sorry!” until the dog apologizes.
99. What do you call a wild Canadian party? Four people quietly enjoying a board game.
100. Why did the Canadian bring his passport to the mall? He might decide on a whim to travel abroad.

I hope these Canadian jokes bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the Canadian humor!

Final Thoughts

We brought you hilarious Canadian jokes and humor, Keep these jokes in mind, and remember to smile because these can be your moody viper jokes! and can be a source of laughter too! Hope these jokes bring joy to your world!

If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes which you gonna love and laugh at:

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