55 Funny Wine Jokes to Lighten the Mood
Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of wine jokes that will make your day brighten! with red wine jokes, funny wine jokes and wine jokes one liners, so let the laughter begin!
Here are the top 55 funny wine jokes to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about wine humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.
Wine Jokes
- Why did the wine get arrested? It was caught trespassing on sangria’s property!
- What did the wine say when it was asked if it was busy? “No, I’m perfectly free!”
- Why was the wine bottle blushing? Because it saw the corkscrew’s point!
- How does wine get to work? The alcoholmobile!
- Why did the wine call in sick to work? Because it was below the cabernet level!
- What do you call a wine that can’t keep a secret? A blabbernet!
- Why was the wine acting so cheesy? It just had a gouda personality!
- What kind of wine do you use to fix a squeaky door? Pinot Grigi-oil!
- Why was the wine crying? It had a sauvignon blanc attack!
- How does wine relieve stress? With a nice glass cabernet-therapy!
- What did the wine say when it was getting married? This is the Moscato moment of my life!
- Why was the wine rack feeling depressed? It had empty bottle syndrome.
- What do you call a wine delivery man? The ferriered!
- Why did the wine go to therapy? It had mother issues and bottled up anger.
Subscribe to Joke Knock!
Get updates on the latest posts and more from Here’s A Joke straight to your inbox.
Funny Wine Jokes
- Why was the wine dancing? It really knew how to merlot!
- What do you call a wine who works on political campaigns? Sauvi-Gnon the People!
- How did the wine win the election? It ran on a Pro-Shiraz platform!
- What do you call a wine mom who loves to gossip? Chardonnay!
- Why do winemakers make the best dancers? They really know how to crush grapes!
- How does wine party? By chardonnaying!
- Why did the wine blush? It saw the cork’s point!
- What did one glass of wine say to the other? You’re looking very grape today!
- Why was the wine crying? It had a sauvignon blanc attack!
- What do you call a wine who is a picky eater? Sauvignon Blanc!
- Why was the wine bottle feeling bloated? It had too many Pinot farts!
- What do you call a wine dance party? A Grape Stomp!
- What do you call a wine that fixes electronics? The Cabernet-trician!
- How does a winemaker greet people? With a handshake and a Pinot Grigio!
- What did the sommelier say to the empty wine glass? I wine you’d let me pour more!
Red Wine Jokes
- Why was the red wine feeling blue? It was going through some merlots!
- What do you call a party with only red wine? A wine-ding!
- Why couldn’t the red wine keep a secret? Because it spilled the tea!
- What do you call a red wine mom who loves to gossip? Chardon-yay!
- Why was the red wine afraid to propose? Because it didn’t have the chianti!
- What do you call a red wine that isn’t very bright? Pinot Doh!
- Why did the red wine go to school? To get its Master’s in Cabernet Sauvingnon!
- What do you get when you cross red wine with a detective? Sherry Shiraz!
- Where does red wine go on vacation? To Relaxicabernet!
- What do you call a red wine that loves music? Rhythm and Merlot!
- Why couldn’t the red wine play tennis? It had two left pinots!
- What’s a red wine’s favorite novel? The Grapes of Wrath!
- What do you call a red wine party animal? Beaujolais Nouveau!
- How does a red winemaker greet people? With a handshake and a Pinot Noir!
- Why was the red wine acting so sad? It was suffering from low Merlots…
Wine Jokes One Liners
- I’d rather have wine on my shirt than water in my glass.
- Behind every successful woman is a bottle (or two) of wine.
- I’m not drinking too much tonight, I’m just preserving wine that would otherwise go bad.
- I enjoy the taste of wine. The end.
- Wine me, dine me, everything’s fine.
- I don’t need Google, wine is my search engine.
- Wine – helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!
- I tried giving up wine for my health, but I’m not willing to turn 100% into juice.
- I like my wine like I like my dates – going straight to my head and making me regret decisions!
- Hearing another wine joke would drive me to drink.
I hope these wine jokes bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the wine humor!
Final Thoughts
I hope these additional funny wine jokes brought a smile to your face! Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!
If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes that you gonna love and laugh at:
