60 Funny Rugby Jokes

Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of rugby jokes that will make your day laugh! with funny rugby puns and rugby one-liners, so let the laughter begin!

Here are the top 60 funny rugby jokes to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about rugby humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.

Funny Rugby Jokes

1. Why do rugby hookers have to be clean? So they don’t attract grubbers!
2. How do rugby players stay warm in winter? They wear boot liners under their socks!
3. Why can’t you borrow money from a rugby lock? Because locks can’t pass!
4. When does a rugby team eat the most food? During the scrummages at the buffet!
5. Why are rugby players such good gardeners? They’re always planting their feet!
6. Why do rugby fly-halves make good cops? Because they can tackle any crime!
7. What’s a rugby player’s favorite excuse? My dog ate my studs!
8. Why do rugby teams love chili? Because it gives them good bowl movement!
9. What breed of dog does every rugby team have? A scrum half!
10. Why do rugby groundskeepers make great dancers? They know how to cut a pitch!
11. How can you spot a rugby player at the ball? He’ll be wearing a tux and a ruck sack!
12. How do rugby players party after big wins? They hold line-out dance parties!
13. Why was the rugby player sent to prison? Illegal use of the hands!
14. What do you call a huge rugby fan? An oval-oval!
15. How do rugby players stay humble? They rely on the fly-half truth!
16. Why do rugby players make bad actors? They over-prop-erate on stage!
17. What’s a rugby player’s favorite emojis? Scrum peas!
18. How did the rugby player propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a tackle tour!
19. Why don’t rugby props cook? Because they can’t handle pots!
20. What do you call a sad rugby ball? A blue oval!

Rugby Puns

21. Why are rugby dads so happy? They always enjoy matches with their kids!
22. What do you call a rugby ball that solves mysteries? An inspector oval!
23. How do Rugby teams contact each other? Through forward passes!
24. Where do baby rugby balls come from? The try-angle factory!
25. Which rugby players give the best high fives? Fly halves!
26. What do you call a selfish rugby player? A me, myself and high tackle!
27. How does a rugby team access the internet? Through their fly-Fi!
28. Why are rugby boots so smelly? Because they scrum too much!
29. Why do rugby players make good cops? They can always collar a perp!
30. What do you call a rugby play who disturbs the peace Quiet at the scrum please!
31. Why was the rugby ball feeling lonely? It was looking for a converted try!
32. How do props encourage their kids Rugby? By telling them to use your head!
33. Why do rugby players go to Apple stores? To browse iPads!
34. What do you call a happy rugby mother? A con-gratulations mum!
35. Why do rugby players have massive phone bills? Landline charges!
36. How do props stay in shape during retirement? Side to side mobility drills!
37. What did one rugby ball say to the other? Lets have a ball!
38. What do you call a rugby playing squirrel? A nutter on the pitch!
39. Why dont eggs play rugby? Because they’d get scrambled!
40. What do you call a kangaroo playing for Australia? Walla-bye!

Rugby One liners

41. You call that a scrum? My grandma scrums harder over the last can of prunes at the supermarket.
42. That was the worst tackle I’ve ever seen. My baby sister hits harder when I refuse her cookies.
43. Nice kick! Did you aim for the elderly lady in the stands?!
44. Those guys couldn’t ruck their way out of a wet paper sack.
45. That prop looks like he ate another prop for breakfast.
46. My blind grandpa kicks with more accuracy than your fly half!
47. Your lineouts look like a giraffe on ice skates.
48. I’ve seen less dropping and knock ons playing greasy cookie toss with toddlers!
49. After that scrum I don’t know whether to call a doctor or a veterinarian for you lot!
50. Your scrum got pushed back so far I thought it was a set play!
51. I guess penalties don’t apply to your number 8 judging by those high tackles.
52. You call that pathetic display using your feet in the ruck?! Even a seal’s better at footwork!
53. My garden gnomes at home have better beards than your entire front row combined.
54. Cheer up! With kicking like that you lads would make fine professional foot golfers!
55. I swear your winger thinks the line markers are just decorative suggestions.
56. Your loosehead prop looks one more knock away from spontaneously retiring mid game.
57. That was the saddest attempt at an intercept I’ve ever seen. My dead gran would’ve had that!
58. Pretty bold going for a skew lineout when half your locks can’t even catch a common cold.
59. You guys look more confused about positions than my dog during our family Christmas photo.
60. I guess your boys missed the memo that you can in fact PASS forward in rugby.

I hope these rugby one-liners bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the rugby humor!

Final Thoughts

I hope these additional funny rugby jokes brought a smile to your face! Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!

If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes that you gonna love and laugh at:

• Pomegranate Puns
• Moon Puns
• Aussie Jokes