70 Funny Nurse Puns That Will Cure Your Blues!
Get ready to enjoy our hilarious selection of nurse puns to inject fun into your day! with some nurse jokes, and nurse one-liners! so let the laughter begin!
Here are the top 70 funny nurse puns to make your weekend with a laugh. These are the funniest jokes about nurse humor for both kids and adults which they are going to love with a laugh.
Nurse Puns
- Why do nurses make great journalists? They are always on call for the latest info!
- How does a nurse sneak up on people? They wear sneakers!
- Why do nurses love flossing their teeth? Because they are really into FLOSSophy!
- Why was the nurse late for work? They had an IV drip!
- How does a nurse stay organized? With medical files!
- Why don’t nurses need smartphones? They already have lots of patients!
- Why are nurses such good dancers? They have hip-pop-cratic rhythm!
- How does a nurse party after work? She takes Nurse’s Aides!
- Why was the nurse smiling on her way to work? She was on the night shift!
- Why do nurses give the best hugs? They use IV arms!
- How does a nurse keep warm in winter? With a thermal blanket!
- Why do nurses love watching the Olympics? For all the torchpassing!
- Why do nurses love glitter so much? Because it makes everything sparkle and shine!
- How does a nurse treat sore muscles? With medical creams like Ben-gay!
- Why do nurses make great mediators? They’re always great at resol-Vein disputes!
- Why are nurses such excellent motivators? They inspire people to push through Vein!
- How does a nurse fix a broken heart? With lots of TLC – Tender Loving Care!
- Why do patients love nurses so much? They are always so caring and compassionate!
- How does a nurse perk you up when you’re feeling down? With an IV drip of Positivity!
- Why do nurses love cling wrap? It helps keep patients wrapped up nice and cozy!
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Funny Nurse Jokes
- What’s a nurse’s favorite TV show theme song? ER!
- Why do nurses love watching Netflix? Binge watching helps the time pass during Night shifts!
- How does a nurse stay calm under pressure? Breathing techniques and stethoscopes!
- Why are nurses such great listeners? Years of patient experience!
- Why do nurses love candy striping? It makes the hospital look cheery for Patients!
- How does a nurse fix dehydration? With an IV fluid drip of course!
- What’s a nurse’s favorite wild animal? A cheetah – for those fast sprints down the hospital hallway!
- How does a nurse get to the blood bank quickly? By taking the vein!
- Why are nurses so good at bowling? They always hit the Veins!
- Why do nurses love the Olympics? Because every four years they get to pass the Torch!
- Why do nurses make great astronomers? They are great at shooting for the stars!
- How does a nurse make the floors sparkle? Disinfectant and elbow grease!
- Why do nurses love fuzzy socks? They’re comforting after a long shift!
- What’s a nurse’s favorite charity event? Walking for the Cure!
- How does a nurse show patients she cares? With her healing hands!
- Why are nurses so optimistic? They always see the best Prognosis!
- What’s a nurse’s favorite sport? Golacrosse – for weaving through busy halls!
- Why do nurses love science? The human body is their Chemis-try!
- How does a nurse lift spirits? With contagious giggles and laughter!
- Why do patients love nurses? They are always so compassionate and caring!
Nurse One Liner
- When you code, we get the shock paddles ready. It’s the ER nurses’ cardio workout.
- I may be just a nurse, but it takes brains to figure out some doctors’ handwriting.
- Nursing diagnosis: an MD with his head up his a**. Again.
- We put the “care” in “healthcare” so doctors can put the “MD” after their names.
- I can’t cure stupid but I can sedate it.
- If you’re that mean before coffee, I’m afraid to give it to you.
- Oh, you have a WebMD degree? Very impressive. I only have an RN BSN.
- I started as an ICU nurse for the adrenaline rush, but now I get it dealing with cranky doctors.
- I don’t wish patients dead, but some obituaries warm my heart.
- I know nurses aren’t supposed to have favorites, but… points to comatose patient
- Doctor: “Just keep them alive until I get back.” …..blinks
- Me: “What’s the diagnosis?” Doctor: shrugs Me: “Cool, cool.”
- I can’t make the diagnosis for you, but I can tell you all the reasons why you’re wrong.
- The only order doctors follow is the one I give them to order tests.
- Nurse during codes: I know you guys are busy, but who broke the dummy’s ribs this time?
- When you tell patients the doctor is running late but I paged him 10 mins ago while he was at Starbucks.
- Oh, did my sarcasm hurt your widdle feewings? pouts mockingly
- Nurse asking resident: So when will you learn to start listening to me?
- Sweeter than my coffee, smarter than my interns. That’s why they pay me the medium bucks.
- I can’t see patients now, I’m waiting for a doctor to call me back so I can tell them what to order.
- Oh, you’d rather trust Dr. Google than Nurse So-and-So with 20 years ICU experience? Cool. rolls eyes
- Nurse: I just gave report to the incoming nurse that you’re difficult. Patient: mouths agape
- When the family thanks the doctor for the great care I gave their dying mother. grits teeth in a smile
- No, telling me “I Googled my symptoms” doesn’t make you smarter or less annoying.
- Why yes, I am smarter than most doctors. Thanks for recognizing! smug smile
- Oh, did you want to do my job since you know so much from watching Grey’s Anatomy? scoffs
- Nurse to herself: Well, Dr. Johnson threw his weight around again. huffs angrily
- Nurse to patient: The doctor knows what he’s doing…65% of the time. Those are good enough odds, right?
- Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here keeping patients alive while waiting for doctors to return my pages.
- I can’t talk right now, I have to tell the doctor what to prescribe since he’s clueless.
I hope these nurse one-liners bring a smile to your face! Enjoy the nurse humor!
Final Thoughts
I hope these additional funny nurse puns brought a smile to your face! Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!
If you want to laugh more here is a list of more funny jokes that you gonna love and laugh at:
